Working From Home? How To Survive In A Stressful 'Office' Environment

It's been a few years now since I hung up my suit, tie and fancy shoes, sold my company and joined the lonely who toil away within the confines of one’s own home.

I discovered quickly that there is no manual  to guide one through the pitfalls of dealing with office politics (there are virtually none unless of course you have a tendency to talk to yourself), no office manager to order the stationary or indeed an authoritarian HR manager to conduct regular performance reviews. 

Taking the plunge into the home office environment can be akin to setting off on a round the world journey in a leaky boat with a compass that has a mind of its own. It’s a solitary environment and requires an enormous amount of discipline, as there are no colleagues to ‘bounce’ ideas off unless of course you count the cat, who will be the laziest employee you have ever worked with.

The trusty Webster Dictionary defines the word discipline thus:

dis·ci·pline noun \ˈdi-sə-plən\

: control that is gained by requiring that rules or orders be obeyed and punishing bad behavior

: a way of behaving that shows a willingness to obey rules or orders

: Behavior that is judged by how well it follows a set of rules or orders

Now that you are CEO, CFO, office manager, catering officer, HR manager (watch out Mr. Cat!) Creative Director and general dogs body, it's time to write the rules.

1) Dress code. In this new environment pajamas or underwear are completely acceptable. To the bolder among you, no clothes at all are often tolerated although perhaps you should confer with the cat first, however, adopting  this attire will save time on laundry duties.

2) Office Hours. Extremely flexible; Deadlines however should not be left until the last minute as night shifts pay the same rate as daylight hours.

3) Inter - office politics.  At times you will find that your feline colleague will often treat you with the utmost contempt; she /he will more often than not neglect his or her duties and disappear for long periods during working hours. Best to address this matter with the HR manager (i.e. you)

4) Meetings. This will entail discussing various projects with yourself. One of the more pleasing aspects of home based meetings will be that your point of view will, in most cases win out in the end.

5) Performance Reviews. Best you conduct these each day in order to keep yourself ‘on your toes’ as sloth and procrastination can strike at any time.

6) Hiring and firing. As you are the only employee; remember, you have already been hired; firing yourself is not an option. Re- read your employment contract. You will often find that there is no exit clause.

7) Business Trips. These will be frequent as you will have to visit stationary shops, copy centers, hardware stores, feline grooming emporiums and the like. There can be no ‘add on’ days for personal pleasure time, retain all receipts even though you will never be re-imbursed.

8) Salary Reviews. As you will note in section 6.8 of your contract, no salary reviews will take place in the first two years. In fact you might not receive a salary at all some months.

9) Client Service. It is best to answer calls; e-mails etc. promptly for those invisible people ‘ out there’ are actually your employers. Retain the groveling skills you once learned in your previous office life, as these will still be required.

10) Vacations and public holidays. You will note that procrastination will be one of your biggest problems in working from home. Thus those projects you have avoided will, at some point come due and thus you will in all likelihood spend the holidays burning the midnight oil.

Those are just some of the guidelines that should be employed

When you set off on your quest to work in a familiar environment, a couple of personal tips I might add;  get rid of the TV, purchase a really uncomfortable futon ensuring you get up in the morning and switch on your computer!

Oh, and treat the cat with the contempt he or she deserves.

Paul v Walters is the author of five best- selling novels. He lives on the island of Bali in Indonesia and when not cocooned in sloth and procrastination is  a prolific blogger and writes for several  international travel journals and vox pop publications. his latest offering, Scimitar was released in late 2016

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