‘Preserve Your Memories. They’re All That’s Left You.’

What is it that triggers a memory?

A hint of a smell this morning of jasmine embedded in a bar of hotel soap for some reason caused a flood of memories to suddenly invades my consciousness with visions as clear as day.

It was a time, so long ago and far away when the world was a lot younger than it is today. I was a smitten young man, hopelessly in love and in a fledgeling relationship doomed to fail. She was older, taller and altogether more worldly than I. A doctor destined for greatness and me, a student with many years of study ahead.

On a rainy Saturday morning, in the pre-dawn light, she whispered that it was time for me to go but to keep safe the memories of our time together. As I recall she said,” preserve your memories. They’re all that’s left you.” For months I held onto those words, thinking how profound they were, spoken by a woman so wonderful and wise until I discovered they were actually written by one, Paul Simon! Oh well, the phrase was poignant and still evokes memories, even today of that time.

It's funny how life goes.

Year pass and slowly you find yourself defined not so much by the things you do, but rather by the things you don’t do. I remember I was going to study medicine, learn to play the saxophone and a host of other things, too many to remember. One by one, I didn’t do those things as those ‘things’ didn’t happen and now- I am what is left.

I suppose I and everyone else who walks this planet are part of unfulfilled dreams and, of course, unfortunately, there is no way of changing the past.

In the end, we are perhaps merely the sum of our memories, but yet they define our lives and define who we are. Our memories are what moulds who we are on any given day, painstaking constructed brick by brick from memories from days long past. Though we need to ‘remember’ that some are not so reliable as are not memories elastic and malleable?

I am certainly not alone in having memories that we don’t wish to have- those that we would rather erase from our subconscious; I for one, have far too many to count.

On a more positive note, memories of true happiness are what makes living this life worth living but, even those can get lost in the thick forests of bad ones. When it actually boils down to it we are nothing more than the memories we keep- those of overwhelming joy, profound sadness, gratitude, pride, grief, despair, remorse, and passion.

However, the strongest of memories are those of love and of course of the most important of all…Hope.

Paul v Walters is the author of several best selling novels and while not cocooned in sloth and procrastination in his house in Bali he scribbles for numerous international travel and vox pop journals.