Living On Two Wheels In Indonesia.

So you've decided to spend some time in Indonesia ?

Good Choice.

Now, if you are a long term resident you simply have to get around. Taxis are fine, but after a while you will become frustrated at being dependent on somebody else, so the only other option is to bite the bullet and get yourself a scooter.

Okay.

Lesson One

Renting your transport is perhaps the easiest part of your quest. Look for a sign that says, Sepedra Motor for rent, pop on in, haggle for thirty minutes about the daily rate, agree, and the bike is yours.

Questions you will not be asked include:

a) Do you have a license?

b) Are you 17?

C) Do you have insurance?

D) Have you ever ridden a motorcycle before?

E) Do you require a helem (helmet)?

That’s it. Passport number supplied, cash handed over and away you go.

Lesson Two.

Buying Fuel.

Most times when you rent a bike the tank will be near to empty so fuel is a must. Finding a petrol station can, and will be difficult, so seek out a warung (little roadside store) and look for Absolut bottles filled with gasoline.

These are usually stacked in rows on a wooden shelf and will be sold to you by the proprietor who will willingly fill the tank. The petrol cap is under the seat. He will empty the Absolut bottle into the tank for you. Normally this gentleman will be smoking as he performs this task so be on your toes in case of fire, and retreat a little distance away while he performs this task. Cost for one litre?  About 60c.

Lesson Three.

Learning the ropes.

It is strongly suggested that you 'practice' on a quiet road away from traffic so that you can get the 'feel' for your Motor Sepeda. This is important, as you need to find out if everything actually works. Those that don't follow this procedure oft times find themselves riding at night with a headlight that has less illumination than a candle.

Lesson Four.

Traffic. 

Okay, welcome to Indonesia.

With the introduction of cheap credit a few years ago the ownership of motorcycles and cars has soared so that the roads are choked with motorists. Do not bother to read the road rules, as basically there are none!

 A few little tips here.

When approaching a roundabout your fellow road users will assess the business of the roundabout and decide at the last moment which way to go around it. If the left side is a little busy, no problem, we'll go round the other way!

One-way streets. The rule is, " but I am going only one way." Do not be surprised to see a hundred bikes, a few cars and trucks heading directly for you. They are after all going one way so best get out of their way.

Traffic Lights. Again I think the philosophy here is, " Seen one red light, seen them all."  Be on your toes and simply follow the herd.

Intersections. Now this can be a little confusing for the uninitiated and the cautious. I have found that it works  to lose the caution immediately as, if you are polite and allow others to go first you could find yourself at the same intersection for a couple of days! The method is to simply GO! Sometimes one can close one's eyes but this is not recommended. Remember, fortune favors the brave.

Pedestrian crossings are merely lines painted on the road so do what everybody else does....ignore them.

Lesson Five.

Navigation. Best  not to rely on your smart- phone and it's clever built in GPS. Program; a route from say Kuta to Seminyak and your phone might tell you that you are in Jakarta or even Rome.

Follow the signs, or better still if you can find a local heading your way, follow him or her.

Road conditions. Unfortunately due to the annual wet season the roads take a pounding.

Potholes appear as if by magic and on some roads the potholes are held together only by thin slithers of bitumen. When raining, these potholes tend to fill with water so it is advisable not to plough into these with gusto as you try to splash pedestrians on the side of the road. It has been known for riders  to disappear down water filled pothole never to be seen again.

Lesson Six.

The carrying of passengers. 

Now that you are comfortable and you have the 'feel' for your Motor Sepeda you will feel compelled to take a pillion passenger on your travels. This is a good thing, and if you are feeling particularly generous invite a couple more to join you. A scooter can, at a squeeze, seemingly accommodate up to five passengers at one go (with luggage) 

This is a wonderful way to bond with family and friends. Be not afraid as you will see infants perched in front of the driver while squeezed in between himself and his wife another four children will beam at you as they whizz past. It seems only the parents wear helmets !

Although not recommended, carrying large sheets of glass between two bikes can be accomplished. If you see a two bikes heading towards you on a one-way street and you think it looks like they are carrying a large sheet of glass between the two of them, they probably are. Best avoid going through the middle!

So there you have it, the basic rules for getting around in this wonderful country on your own.

It's basically like a theme park ride and if that scares you.... take a cab.

Paul v Walters is the author of several best selling novels. When not cocooned in sloth he also writes for several international travel journals and vox pop magazines. His latest offering Asset will be released in late 2017.