Paul Walters

7 tahun yang lalu · 3 menit. waktu membaca · ~100 ·

Blogging
>
Blog Paul
>
Coffee. When Did It Become Such A Pretentious, Wanky Beverage?

Coffee. When Did It Become Such A Pretentious, Wanky Beverage?


Coffee, it’s just a drink is it not?

To all the hipsters out there who have taken to the coffee culture with obvious gusto, one should remember that coffee has been around since the 15th century.


Coffee. When Did It Become Such A Pretentious, Wanky Beverage?


 It was the Sufis of ancient Yemen who discovered that it’s properties would suppress the appetite and stimulate the brain. They just drank the stuff and enjoyed it; I really don’t think they sat around for hours critiquing its properties. Coffee evolved and became a standard drink that spread across Europe and then, over centuries to the new world. It held no mystique, no magical qualities; it was simply a drink to enjoy in the early morning to begin the day’s toil.

The morning coffee break in the office used to be a time to take a break, boil a kettle, spoon in some nondescript brown powder into a cup, add the hot water and enjoy a bit of time to converse with one's colleagues about what had transpired in their lives the night before.

Not any more!

Coffee. When Did It Become Such A Pretentious, Wanky Beverage?



Now it falls to the office junior to procure the coffee orders and, it was no different in our office. 

Carly, poor Carly, the general ‘runner’ for the creative department would be dispatched to fetch the beverage that apparently would rev up their collective creative psyches. Coffee never seemed to be referred to as coffee, rather they had come up with rather cute names which they applied to the humble beverage. A few that spring to mind were, ‘wakey ‘up juice, Brazilian marching brew, Cuppa Joe, heart- starter and a number of other ridiculous monikers used to describe a simple cup of brown liquid.

 The coffee emporium to which the hapless Carly would travel was, at one point a rather run down establishment that served, along with greasy bacon sandwiches, a perfectly ordinary blend of filtered coffee. Almost overnight this nondescript café transformed itself into ‘hipster hangout” replete with a bearded, beret wearing barista who would dispense all manner of coffees from an industrial strength machine that dominated the counter.


Coffee. When Did It Become Such A Pretentious, Wanky Beverage?



 Customers would sit at the tables comparing the merits of the coffee served as if it were fluids containing some magical powers. Carly would read out the orders; 

Shane would like a Flat White with skinny milk, extra hot, Mia wants a Espresso double shot, not too hot, John a cappuccino, double foam medium heat, Dan, a flat white single shot, while Debbie insists on a Macchiato with half soy and half skinny milk which, when you think about it equates to a cup of disappointment.



Coffee. When Did It Become Such A Pretentious, Wanky Beverage?



The entire exercise could take up to half an hour of Carly’s productive time, not to mention the staff, waiting like Pavlovian dogs to begin their day’s tasks bereft of the 'wakey up juice' that was obviously needed to put in a good days work! What is it with this beverage that now dominates the day – to – day existence of those that toil away within the confines of the corporate office structure that many of us exist in? Let us remember, it's only coffee for God's sake!

A few years ago we saw the introduction of the Nespresso coffee machine into our homes, endorsed, by probably the most desired man on the planet, George Clooney. Television commercials showed George sipping from a small vessel of coffee dispensed from the machine, turning to camera to tell you that, “this is real coffee. ” 


Coffee. When Did It Become Such A Pretentious, Wanky Beverage?



George, you have a villa on Lake Como in Italy, the home of excellent coffee, stop it and stick to making movies, it’s not as if you need the money!

 I live in Bali home of Bali Coffee a thick brew served black that one has to strain through ones teeth to get to the bottom of the cup … it’s a heady brew. Here, they pride themselves on their coffee and, if you search it out there are various blends that might suit one's taste. Take for instance the Lawa coffee, manufactured in the mountains far away from the sea and a blend that has become a ‘ must have’ for coffee drinkers far and wide.

In order procure this extremely expensive drink the following process occurs; firstly, one must acquire a mongoose then place said creature in a small cage. Once the mongoose has settled into his environment it will be fed a diet of coffee beans and whatever else Mongooses eat.


Coffee. When Did It Become Such A Pretentious, Wanky Beverage?


Now the good bit! The creature will devour the beans, partially digest them and excrete them into a small tray beneath its cage. The beans are duly collected, sorted and ground into powder, filtered and packaged into one of the most expensive coffee blends in the world ….go figure? For me I really do not see the attraction of imbibing a brown liquid procured from beans that have passed through the intestinal tract of an imprisoned mongoose. I know there are a lot of coffee drinkers out there that will deride me for being so sacrilegious about their drink of choice but really guys …its coffee and, when it comes down to it, it's either black or white, nothing more nothing less.


 Perhaps now I shall have a cup of tea… what should I have? Darjeeling, English breakfast, Earl Grey, Irish Breakfast, Chamomile … Oh stop it!!!!


Paul v Walters is the author of five international best selling novels and while not cocooned in sloth and procrastination in his house in Bali he scribbles for several global travel and vox pop journals.

www.paulvwalters.com


""""""
Komentar

Paul Walters

7 tahun yang lalu #15

#21
Frank, great to hear from you . yeah it was wonderful to see Sue. Start scibbling those pieces would love to read them! P

Paul Walters

7 tahun yang lalu #14

#18
Thanks Teresa now theres a thought I think I should get onto that one. Living in Bali as I do I see the most absurd names for cocktails in virtually every bar I pass.

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

7 tahun yang lalu #13

Right ingredients for right taste of coffee. That's it for a lifelong, bold addiction!

Lisa Gallagher

7 tahun yang lalu #12

Coffee with a twist and a Mongoose by Paul Walters

Lisa Gallagher

7 tahun yang lalu #11

Hi Paul Walters, as I was reading this I had to stop and make myself a cup of coffee at 2:30 am! So, I guess I may be up all night now. I have heard of the beans being excreted from the mongoose. I think I heard about it on Andrew Zimmern's show. I can't phantom drinking that [insert choice word] . Not appealing at all. I'm sure it must taste wonderful since so many do love it. There are times I want to purchase an old percolator coffee pot that we used to have brewing on the stove top!

don kerr

7 tahun yang lalu #10

#11
Done. See you there!

Kevin Pashuk

7 tahun yang lalu #9

#8
Don Kerr the 13th at gish works for me.

Kevin Pashuk

7 tahun yang lalu #8

#9
Frankly autocorrect I'm getting tired of this shirt!

don kerr

7 tahun yang lalu #7

#7
Uh...that was supposed to be nineish - not gish!

don kerr

7 tahun yang lalu #6

#7
Let's do it. How about the 13th at 9ish?

Kevin Pashuk

7 tahun yang lalu #5

#1
Speaking of coffee Don Kerr, it must be time to set a date for Kerr Street Cafe.

Randy Keho

7 tahun yang lalu #4

Well, at least young office staffers are drinking a form of coffee in the morning instead of their once-traditional can of Mountain Dew. I never could understand that ritual. But, to each his own.

Kevin Pashuk

7 tahun yang lalu #3

"Without coffee I'd have no discernable personality" (Quote stolen from David Letterman)

Dean Owen

7 tahun yang lalu #2

Oh for a good cuppa coffee. Increasingly rare these days. Not the milkshake coffees of Howard Schultz. Only Clooney could make drinking that dainty little glass cup of Nespresso look good. My little pinky would be up in the air. Great read as always.

don kerr

7 tahun yang lalu #1

Mongeese? Big smiles for me this day Paul Walters Thanks.

Artikel dari Paul Walters

Lihat blog
2 tahun yang lalu · 4 menit. waktu membaca

(I've been missing in action for a few weeks due to a liaison with a certain virus) · After 18 month ...

2 tahun yang lalu · 5 menit. waktu membaca

Another day, another COVID PCR test. · I have looped back from the island of Buru on the overnight f ...

2 tahun yang lalu · 3 menit. waktu membaca

Six months ago, I delivered a proclamation to anyone who would listen, and, if truth be told, there ...

Profesional terkait

Anda mungkin tertarik dengan pekerjaan ini

  • RGF HR Agent Recruitment

    Secretary Japanese speaker

    Ditemukan di: beBee S2 ID - 6 hari yang lalu


    RGF HR Agent Recruitment indonesia - tangerang, Indonesia Permanent

    - Support work in the corporate planning department- Data document creation (using Excel, PowerPoint)- Act as interpreter for guests who only speak Indonesian. - Accompany expatriates when visiting client Mendukung pekerjaan di departemen perencanaan perusahaan- Pembuatan dokumen ...

  • Marvell Sekurindo

    Teknisi & helper cctv - ac

    Ditemukan di: beBee S2 ID - 5 hari yang lalu


    Marvell Sekurindo Kab. Sleman, Indonesia Waktu penuh

    - laki laki usia maksimal 30 tahun- minimal pendidikan SMA/SMA/SMK- berpengalaman teknisi min 1 tahun- bersifat jujur & disiplin- mampu berkomunikasi lancar- memiliki kendaraan pribadi- memiliki SIM A/C- siap kerja luar kota- siap ditempatkan di seluruh cabang- memiliki kemampuan ...

  • RGF HR Agent Recruitment

    IT consultant

    Ditemukan di: beBee S2 ID - 3 hari yang lalu


    RGF HR Agent Recruitment indonesia - jakarta, Indonesia Permanent

    ・Creating meeting materials using ppt or other tools and presenting・Analysis users requirement and help in solving problem ・Creating a project timeline & task list ・Lead a project and managing a team・Updating and reporting a project status to the customer and internal management ...